Published by Chicago Parent magazine- June 2016

Being a good dad doesn’t require perfection, but connection. It calls for love and care, as well as the initiative to be involved day in and day out. We found five Chicago dads who are both tough and tender, and these magnanimous men engage with their families in remarkable ways.

Natural memory maker

Javier Guevara

Kids: Justice, 12, Javier Jr., 7, and Julian, 18 months

Wife: Jennifer

Javier Guevara fell in love with fishing as a kid in Quito, Ecuador. Today, this Wheaton resident owns and operates Ecuador Fly Fishing Tours with his family. Passionate about conservation and exploration, he shares the joy of the outdoors with his kids, the community and fishing enthusiasts. His company takes travelers to gorgeous remote destinations featuring waterfalls, volcanoes, mountains and creeks to collect memories.

When he’s not hosting tours, he can be found fishing with his family, in Ecuador and around Chicago.

Guevara’s kids appreciate the bonding time, playing in rivers and tossing rocks. One of their favorite spots is the Driftless Area in Wisconsin. “It’s less than three hours away, but in the beautiful country, where you don’t see or hear a car,” he says. “There are no cellphones, but beautiful streams, turkeys and bald eagles.” They also recommend the Milwaukee River in September, where big salmon swim up the lake to spawn.

Guevara believes in getting kids outside as frequently as possible. “Never be afraid of exploring,” he says. “There might not be something that catches your eye right away, but there are so many simple things that are so valuable.”

Important history lessons

Scott Johnson

Kids: Noelia, 7, twins Liliana and Benjamin, 4, and Abraham, 7 months

Wife: Raquel

Scott Johnson lived on a 100,000-acre cattle ranch in Kanab, Utah, until a volunteer mission brought him to Chicago. After his years as a Northwestern University wrestler, this big guy found the love of his life in a woman with Honduras heritage. When they married and had children, he taught himself, and his now four kids, how to speak Spanish. “I see my in-laws as pioneers,” he says. “They gave up their lives in Honduras for something that was unknown. I would never want those sacrifices to be forgotten in one generation.”

It’s evident that he enjoys teaching his kids life’s important lessons. “Everything I do, the kids are not only welcome to join, but I prefer it,” Johnson says.

When he gets home from work, he enjoys cooking with the kids. “It takes three times as long,” he admits. “But the excitement of making the food translates into excitement for eating it. My role as an adult is to teach my children everything to the point where they don’t need me any more.”

Good sport

Hitesh Patel

Kids: Yash, 9, Rian, 6, and Jhenna, 4

Wife: Alpita

Hitesh Patel’s sportsmanship shines through every season as he coaches soccer, T-ball, baseball, football, hockey and basketball, to name a few.

He was an instructor at the park district before he started his 15-year career with the Chicago Police Department and is now a sergeant. This dad of three chose to work the night shift so he could spend as much time as possible with his kids, including school pickup and dropoff, as well as manning many after-school activities.

“As a coach, I get to be involved in my kids’ lives, see who their friends are and meet their parents,” Patel says. “As kids get older, they won’t want their parents as involved. I try to enjoy these times and get to know the people that they’ll be hanging out with for the rest of their lives.”

Not only has he protected Chicago streets from gangs, drugs and guns, he volunteers his time to provide security at his kids’ school. “Our most precious gifts are inside that building,” he says.

Clowning around

Randy Johnson

Kids: Jake, 11, and Austin, 7

Wife: Linda

Randy Johnson met his wife, Linda, at a Chicago Park District youth circus program when they 11 and 12. After touring with Ringling Bros., Randy has performed in the Triton Troupers Circus, an all-volunteer show at Triton College every spring, with his family for 32 years. Jake, 11, has been a part of the performance since he was in the womb (his mom performs the Spanish web). Austin, 7, had his first major role this year in the 45th anniversary show. He played “Dead or Alive,” a classic clown gag, with his dad.

“You can’t buy an experience like this,” Randy says. “But it comes with a lot of hard work.”

While Randy is proud to pass on his passion for performing, he says the kids got into it for the non-competitive physical activity.

“You have to love a sport to stick to it,” says Randy. “My kids didn’t love some of the sports they tried and practice became drudgery.” Jake and Austin were attracted to circus acts for their gymnastics-like quality without the competitiveness.

Scary fun

Daniel Kmiec

Kids: Katelyn, 11, and Carin, 7

Wife: Valerie

Daniel Kmiec’s wife, Valerie, stayed home with their children until her dream of opening a salon came true nearly three years ago. Now Daniel, a machinist at O’Hare International Airport, is his girls’ primary caregiver.

“Both are sweethearts and exact opposites,” he says. “Carin is a girly girl who likes to play with Barbies and she also helps me work on cars. Katelyn is into gaming—chess tournaments and Minecraft.”

Not only does this hands-on dad have a soft spot for his girls, but he likes to plan intricate parties for them, namely, Halloween haunted house parties. He tricks out their garage with black lights and ghouls, packs a buffet table full of hot chocolate and punch with floating fingers and hosts classic kids games, like donuts on a string and bobbing for apples.

“As a kid, I helped my dad dress up a two-flat hallway for Halloween,” he says. “I wanted to carry on that fun family tradition. When the girls suggested we do a haunted house, I was crazy enough to say yes.”

It’s a big project, but he says it does model dedication. “I want to teach them that if you work hard, you can enjoy fun things with your friends,” he says.

Published by Chicago Parent magazine- June 2015

Winner of national Parenting Media Association award for service feature

Desperate for a date night, parents can rush out the door as soon as the sitter arrives. Think about that babysitter left in the lurch without the 411 on the family’s nighttime routines, especially when the baby wakes up and howls like a wild coyote and there’s no milk in the house. Do you think that sitter will want to come back?

Caring for other people’s kids, in their homes, on their terms, is tough work. If parents expect top-notch childcare, we, in turn, need to be exceptional employers. What makes the best childcare relationships work?

With summer kicking into high gear, we talked with Chicago-area nannies and babysitter as well as parents and parenting experts to secure their secrets for childcare success al year round.

Put details in writing

When you professionalize the hiring process, everyone feels like they have equal footing. Spell out the job description, vacation and sick time in a contract. “Families without contracts usually run into problems within three months,” says Erin Krex, president of First Class Care, Inc. “It’s commonly over something promised in an offer but later forgotten.” When details are in writing, you both have reminders.

“Put together a Household Handbook,” suggests Marcie Wolbeck of Cultural Care Au Pair and Chicago mom of three. “Write down things like which child hates spinach and your approved discipline methods. It’s a great resource for caregivers to better meet your expectations.”

Get serious about expectations

“You need to be specific and honest about what you really want,” says Katie Bugbee, parenting expert at Care.com. Lay out expectations for hours, flexibility, household chores, personality type and activity level. A babysitter is an occasional helper while a nanny manages more responsibilities, like helping with homework and cooking. “Even if it’s only a few hours a week, if you depend on that person, consider the job a part-time nanny,” says Bugbee. “An elevated description will get stronger candidates.”

Throw it all out there

The interview is the time to see if you click and make sure all your requests stick. Be clear on your expectations and confirm the candidate can deliver. “Throw her all the curveballs she could face,” suggests Bugbee. How would you encourage him to eat dinner or handle bedtime battles?

“If you’d like her to save smartphone use until after the kids are asleep and she raises her eyebrows, realize it might not be the best fit,” says Tammy Gold, author of Secrets of the Nanny Whisperer.

Just like you expect the caregiver to be honest, tell her exactly what you need. “Put everything on the table in the interview and try not to ask for other things afterwards,” says Branndi Camp, nanny for nine years. How duped would you feel if you were continually asked to take on additional responsibility without increased pay?

Respect each other

While parents insist they don’t want anyone telling them how to raise their children, caregivers say they don’t want to be treated like slaves. Reciprocal respect is imperative.

“If you feel like you have to check on your child and his nanny all day long, you probably don’t have the right nanny,” says Chicago mother Amanda Hughes.

Teach children to respect the caregiver, too. Give her control and don’t let little ones push the limits. “I tell kids if we both want me to come back, we need to follow the rules,” says Nubia Camacha, babysitter for 30 years.

Make time to talk

Communication is key. Knowing that it’s hard to discuss sticky issues with kids at your legs, schedule a regular time to chat with caregivers.

“If you feel uncomfortable about something, don’t hold back,” says Camp. Nothing is more rancid in a relationship than negative feelings festering. Instead of feeling resentful, find a positive way to discuss the issue.

“I’ve never walked away from a meeting angry,” says Lisa McCormick, a nanny for 27 years. “Even if there was a difference in opinion, we uncovered solutions achievable for both of us.”

Show your gratitude

When Gold asks caregivers what they like most about the families they work for, the number one response is, “They appreciate me!”

Don’t forget to say thank you for everything she does and enables you to do. “If the baby threw up, reward her with a few extra bucks or book another evening of babysitting right away,” says Bugbee.

“Flowers and gifts are great, but handwritten notes are the best,” McCormick says. Think about special perks you can provide too. Caregivers love to brag about exclusive rewards, like hard-to-get concert tickets.

Back each other up

Agree on limits and expectations for independence, then follow through. Caregivers cite rules like picking up toys, putting away dishes or tying their own shoes that were relaxed over weekends.

Tired moms and dads think they’re making life easier by avoiding battles. “But parents and caregivers need to be seen as a united front in childrearing,” says nanny Katie Franseen.

Be cognizant of her time too

Canceling last minute is the worst, but if your kid is sick, offer to pay the sitter’s fee. If you’re occasionally running late, a phone call will do, but remember caregivers have lives, too.

If you want the best for your kids while you’re away, treating their caregivers with gratitude and respect is as important as pay.

“Happy parents plus happy caregivers equals doubly happy kids,” says Gold.